A Candle LOSES NOTHING by Lighting Another Candle…

By: Care Messer Doulas November 5, 2018


A Candle LOSES NOTHING by Lighting Another Candle… Unknown

Are we as women, hesitant to be happy for one anothers success? Why are we not each other’s biggest cheerleaders? Why aren’t we building up instead of tearing each other down? Why are we not congratulating a woman, a sister and friend when something in her life is going really well? Why are we not standing together – especially in today’s world? We do not have the luxury of being divided anymore.

Old school patterns and old ideas prevent us from being genuinely happy for one another. The idea that we cannot work together harmoniously is simply not true. THIS is what keeps women from sharing their beautiful birth stories. THIS is what keeps women from sharing their successes and accomplishments in life. THIS is what leads to us feeling shame when we do something great. It needs to change and that begins with us, in our own respective communities and families.

It’s a choice. It’s a choice to adopt “abundance thinking” instead of the prevalent “lack and competition” thinking. There is enough of EVERYTHING for ALL OF US. Our doula program continues to work well because women have chosen to create a community that’s trusting and not “mean girl” minded. It was a hard sell at first because we have all been stung by the gossip and meanness of young girls through older women in our lives. We may have also picked up the idea we cannot trust women from our mothers and grandmother’s. These old patterns and beliefs can end if we choose to create something better.

But adding in new ideas, new skills and practicing more honest communication works. We give each other the benefit of the doubt and talk to each other directly, where being offended and assuming used to drive us as women, further apart. We look for the good in each other, share in the joys and the challenges we experience. We have each other’s backs and know that when one of us is on top, we all rise. Our individual businesses are better, our families are stronger and we are learning to love ourselves more deeply.

Women can be happy for one another. We can have a strong community. Like attracts like and if your current circle is not on this track – it may be time for an upgrade. Put out to the universe who you are looking to walk through your door. Who do you want to learn from? Who do you want to work with? Be specific and write it down(old school, with pen and paper). You can succeed on your own but as a group – it makes the journey even more rewarding and delicious!

About the author:
Care is the founder of the Birth Education Center, San Diego HypnoBirthing and Cuddle Sanctuary San Diego. She is a Birth Educator, Hypnotherapist, Birth and Postpartum Doula, INNATE Care Provider, Erotic Blueprint Coach and also professional Cuddler. She specializes in connection work between people and increasing self boundaries for a more balanced life together.