How To Keep Instagram And Facebook Warm & Welcoming – Doula Series Ep. 10

By: Care Messer | Birth Doula, Doulas, Education | May 3, 2019

So why do you want to open up another Instagram account or Facebook account for your business? As birth workers, we are very passionate about certain topics in our regular life and it may not come across as the best first impression for someone that hasn’t met you yet. Before parents ever make a phone call to interview you, they have researched the heck out of all the things and looked at your social media accounts. They do a “pre-screen” to see if you two are a good fit. Offering balanced information and a warm welcoming flow in your social media content or feed is actually who you are in the birth room. THAT should be this family’s first impression of you. In this video we’re going to talk about how we can prevent your possible hot buttons in life, from becoming a professional faux pau.

Video Transcript:

– Today we’re gonna talk social media, how to keep your accounts professional with no hot buttons. Neutral, that’s what we’re going for. So one thing that you might not realize is that parents research the heck out of you before they ever even make that phone call or send that email. They’ve gone to your social media, your Instagram, your Facebook, sometimes your LinkedIn, they’ve looked at everything. All your Lake Havasu pictures with your boobs out, wine, they’ve looked at all of it. So it might be a good idea for you to start locking down your personal account so that families don’t get access to that stuff but they only get access to your professionalism. And the next bit with that is that sometimes on our feeds we may have some hot buttons. You may be very political, you may be anti-vax, you may be pro-vax, you may be anti-circumcision, pro-circumcision, breastfeeding versus bottle feeding. There’s so many different hot buttons that we have that we are pro-pro or against-against, and what a family needs to feel is that you’re not gonna judge them no matter what they choose. And honestly, it’s none of your business what they choose. It’s our business to just support that baby in the birth room. How are we gonna support them if they’ve already seen that we’re super angry or frustrated or passionate about one certain thing that they’re as equally passionate about? We need to kind of roll it back a little bit and present information in a very neutral way so that families feel like we’re gonna accept them no matter what they choose. Because it really is none of our business what they choose. So as a professional doula, it is our job, our calling, our professional responsibility, to provide informational, physical, and emotional support to this family. So as a professional, it is our job to be very clear in our intentions, and our intentions are to provide this family, and all of our families, informational, professional support, non-biased information, balanced on both sides, physical support, and emotional support throughout their birth and postpartum process. And if we can present that and actually do that and check our own opinions and feelings at the door, we’re gonna be just what this baby needs. And remember that it’s all about the baby. So what do we need to do first? We need to lock down our personal accounts and create professional accounts if we haven’t already done that. Very important that friends and family are private and all of our stuff and our hot buttons and whatever exciting things are happening in our life are separate. When we keep our professional page informational, non-biased, and loving, that’s what our families are gonna read because that’s how we are in the birth room. That’s who we are in general. But if we have those hot buttons that keep popping up, how is our family gonna read that? Is she angry, is she judgmental? What’s she gonna do if I choose something different? What if you’re totally pro-hospital and you don’t like home birth and then they decide to switch to home birth? How are they gonna feel? Is she gonna support me? The last thing you wanna do is breach that trust. This family came to you for unbiased, loving support and that’s what they’re gonna need, no matter what their choices. So after you’ve privatized and locked down your regular accounts, create, if you haven’t already, a business account that’s unbiased and presents the best of the doula and midwifery world. They can get so much information from just reading through your feed and your posts and what you’re passionate about with birth, postpartum, et cetera, just by reading that information. And I guarantee they’ve already looked at that before they’ve ever made that phone call. It’s really important that what you present and put out is the best of your best. So now let’s go back to who we are and why we have these certain hot buttons. Why do we have hot buttons? I will tell you that some of my hot buttons came from personal experience, either I witnessed it in a birth room or it happened to me personally, or if we go back to the Anna Verwaal stuff, happened to me at my own birth. And that’s what shoots me up from zero to 90 in one second. So if I’m taking myself out of the picture, I’m just kind of examining, why does this make me go vroom in anger and frustration and passion, as opposed to just looking at, how do I balance this? I wanna give you a little bit of how I handle the birth room while I’m teaching about it in the education room. So as I’m teaching a class and I have eight or nine couples that show up, obviously are all from different backgrounds, different professions, all the things, birthing at different hospitals, birthing in different ways, different with doulas, some have doulas, some don’t. And some people have some really big triggers and I have to be very balanced in what I say. Even if I am against or for something, nobody in my classroom setting is gonna know that. If they come up and ask me about it, I’m gonna give them balanced information, websites on both sides, articles from both sides. It is not my choice to choose for them or to sway them one way or the other. Remember that parents are hiring us for our professionalism and our professional advice or recommendations, but it’s that balanced neutrality that keeps them feeling safe with us. They don’t wanna feel judged. And if they feel like, but this is right for our family, and you’ve gone completely against that or given all the contrary information to that to sway them to that, they’re not gonna feel safe. So what if there are just some kind of births you can’t support? For example, you can’t support home births or birth center births freak you out or a certain hospital, you just can’t support hospital births, or whatever it is that you have. A really easy way to kind of weed the families out that aren’t gonna be a good fit is to save those kind of details in your Highlights on your Instagram. And by that I mean what you do support full-heartedly and how you love that. Creating Highlights around things that you’re very passionate about are going to attract those people that are passionate about those same things. That’s a very simple way to say, here’s what I’m about. So what’s important when you’re trying to post content and figure out what’s gonna go on your story, which, by the way, Stories stuff should be going up every day, is, this is their introduction to me, so what am I posting that creates a feeling of love, warmth, and acceptance for these new families that may happen on me today? Our families are in our feeds. They are in feeds before they are on our phones and in our emails, so what we want to portray is who we are and how we can best support them. The feelings that come across in those posts and what you’re passionate about is bar none the most important thing you can post. When creating content, it needs to be, how can I support this baby and this family in the best way possible? And as long as you’re putting that out, slam dunk. So important to lock down your regular feeds just to friends and family and keep your business separate. If you have some hot buttons that you need to explore, reference back to the boundary video and what’s your story and figure out what that is. And then remember that all your content should be happy, friendly, and welcoming to this new family. It’s that balanced neutrality that you can offer that’s gonna make them feel loved and accepted.

About the author:
Care is the founder of the Birth Education Center, San Diego HypnoBirthing and Cuddle Sanctuary San Diego. She is a Birth Educator, Hypnotherapist, Birth and Postpartum Doula, INNATE Care Provider, Erotic Blueprint Coach and also professional Cuddler. She specializes in connection work between people and increasing self boundaries for a more balanced life together.


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