Trust Your Body

By: Care Messer Hypnobirthing August 6, 2020

This is Jill’s second birth with us but this time it was a quarantine baby! Jill refreshed her skills by attending Release and Relax classes throughout her pregnancy and she hired a doula. She read an amazing book, Labor Like A Goddess, and added more “power of thought” to prepare for this birth process. Jill will walk you through the conversation she had with her body as she tried to hold back (due to the pressure of a bigger baby, two pounds bigger btw) and her body saying, “No, we are doing this!” Having a trust in your body, in the moment when it really counts – is what birth preparation does for you and your baby. As you listen to the birth story of Jill’s little girl, notice how she had full trust in her doctor and how he came through for her during the pushing phase. Dr. Cobb is one of four local doctors (3 of them in solo practice) who really believe in the birth process and that it’s better left untouched. Education, a doula and the right Care Provider for the win!

@ashleystetson @laborlikeagoddess @drdamoncobb

Video Transcript:

I go through the next one and her shoulder comes out. Doctor says, “look down.” And I looked down, I grab her, and I pull her up to my body.

So how I prepared for my birth. My first birth was a little bit different. I went to Hypnobirthing and it was amazing. We learned so much stuff that we would have never known if we didn’t go. Besides that I went to Relax and Release classes that really helped me to just prepare my mind by myself without my partner there, and other women that were pregnant, and in the same place that I was. So that was really beneficial. I also did chiropractic care, and listen to my birthing affirmations. Which was one of the main things that when actual labor came was super helpful. For my second birth, I did some additional stuff. I went to acupuncture, and I also did a lot more Relax and Release classes up until we had quarantine. And we also had a doula for both births. And what else did I do? Oh, I read the “Labor like a Goddess” book. Which I think that was super good. Even though most of the stuff that I knew, it was a great reminder and there was additional things in there that really helped me mentally get ready to have birth of my daughter with the situation at hand.

So going through it, knowing that I’m not gonna have the support that I was gonna have, that I had for my first birth. So that’s the main things that I did to prepare. My birth and labor began on Mother’s Day, early morning. So around 12 o’clock at night in the morning, I realized that I was feeling a little bit more surges. They were so little that it didn’t even like, I was like, is this something. Like I was like, oh body this is what you’re telling me is labor. Like I was like laughing at my body, basically saying this doesn’t even hurt. Like there’ll be five, seven, 10 minutes apart, they weren’t anything consistent. But I was like still like, if this is starting labor, this is like a joke basically. So I was talking crap to my body. And then I woke up my partner and I was like, Hey, you know, I’m starting to get contractions.

This is maybe around 2:30 in the morning. And I was like, I went and have a snack between that time. I had like a little banana bread muffin, just in case something was really happening. But I was like, I don’t know. So he started timing the contractions and they weren’t very consistent. So I was like, okay. Well, at 3:30 I was like I need a rest. ‘Cause if this is the real thing, I need a rest. So I started resting. I went to sleep. I stopped worrying about anything, I went to sleep. Around 6:20 in the morning, I woke up because I started feeling a surge. And this was like the real… Like it felt more real because it made my leg shake. Like I had to move my leg in order to get through it. I was like, okay body, okay. You know, I get it now, that’s what I’m talking about. If this is happening, that’s what I’m talking about. Still like I was like, this is gonna be forever is what I was thinking. I was like, okay. So let me just be calm. Let me go to the bathroom. Let me text my doula. Let me like figure out what’s going on.

And you know, I woke up my partner. I was like, hey, you know like, I think, you know, that was a painful surge. I was like let’s see what happens. He’s like, Okay, let me go pack the car. And I was like, I don’t know if it’s gonna… We need to rush. Like I was just trying to take it easy just. And around like 7:00 between 7:00 and 7:30. I started getting them really fast, between two and three minutes apart. And they were double, they felt like double waves. So they were going, they were peaking and then they were going down. They weren’t going all the way down, and then they were peaking again. So my body was doing some serious work. And I knew it. And I was like, oh my goodness, I hope this is not like this the whole time. And so I tried to facetime my sister, because I still thought at that time that it was no big deal. You know, we are gonna be here for an hour or two and then we would peacefully head to the hospital. Which I mean, it was not a crazy thing by any means. But Robert was making me breakfast. I was like, okay, I’m gonna eat something because who knows how long this is gonna last.

So he was making me breakfast. And I received a text from my doula saying. I was like, I wanna take a shower and all this kind of stuff. She’s like, if you gonna take a shower take a quick one, and you guys should probably head out. So at that point, I was like. Okay, Robert, I’m gonna jump in the shower. And we called my OB and left a message. And he called me back and said, Yeah, you should probably go to the hospital. So we’re like, okay. So I guess this is it. You know, I was finally excited because that was 40 weeks, five days. My first birth was at 41 weeks, three days. So I was like so thankful that it wasn’t going that long.

So, took a quick shower. Robert finished packing up the car. It takes me a while because at that point, the surges are getting so close together. That I was like, wow. I guess I was wrong here. You know, maybe we’re not gonna be able to hang out here very long. And so it started getting me nervous because I was GBS positive, so I wanted to get to the hospital. At least get one dose of antibiotics before I had the baby. So we finally get to the car. And it’s still taking me a few minutes to get there. It took me maybe five to 10 minutes to get to the car, ’cause I was getting them so frequently. And I didn’t wanna, I was almost trying to run to the car between my surges.

So we got for the car, I got in. Then we call the hospital to let them know that we’re on our way. I delivered at Pomerado hospital. I have my forty blinks on in the car ready to go. And then I put my affirmations on after we got off the phone with the hospital, because I wanted to focus and not have a like possible like stall in my labor. Because sometimes getting in the car we learned in Hypnobirthing that it could stall your labor. Wanted to keep it as dark as I could and really just focus on what the affirmations were telling me. So it took us about 15 minutes.

We got to the hospital about 8:30 in the morning. At this point and to go into the hospital during quarantine you have to get your temperature checked. And so by the time we got into the hospital, they’re like the nurse is not here. And I was like well, I called the hospital I’m in labor. Like I was like kind of had an attitude with the poor security guard. I feel bad but I was like I’m gonna have this baby either on the floor in front here or you let me go upstairs. So she called the birth center and they said go ahead and send her up. We’ll take her temperature before she gets in there. Robert had to wait. And so he was in the next elevator up, ’cause the nurse was coming out with the elevator as I was going in. So anyways, I just thought that was funny. And these are the hiccups that you’ve run into during quarantine.

So I got up there to my temperature I’m fine. But meanwhile I’m having, like I had a surge in the elevator. I had a surge when I’m like getting my temperature taken. I had a surge when I’m getting checked in by the nurse’s station. So you know they were coming pretty fast. So finally I get into the room. I get checked to get all set up, you know get in the room. And once I’m checked, I’m five centimeters dilated, fully effaced totally. Basically I was like, last time I got here I was only three maybe four centimeters. This is good. Like I was really pumped about that. And sometimes it’s not good to know, sometimes it is good to know ’cause it can be motivating. I knew that this baby was gonna come fast. I just knew it. She wanted to come up fast. And I could tell by the way my body was already progressing so quickly.

So after I get my antibiotics and they monitored the baby for about 20 minutes or whatever, 15, 20 minutes. And I kept checking with the nurses as well as my partner, because we learned kinda this from our first labor that you just really need to just check in with them and let them know what you want. You know, it’s like am I done with this yet? Like I think it’s really important to have your voice and use your voice in this scenario. Especially like we didn’t have our doula there with us. And things are going so fast that we couldn’t even call or text you know. Things were progressing way too quickly and things were going too fast.

So once I got there, they started filling up the tub so I could jump in. I was just like, things are moving so fast that I knew my body needed a little bit of a break, and that water really helps. I used the water as a resource or a tool in my first birth which really helped. I got in the tub and I mean the surges were coming so quickly. But they had a peak and they would go down, so I had little breaks in between. They weren’t the double peak ones that they were happening earlier in my labor. Which was just literally an hour and a half before that. So I get in there and I’m having surges. Robert’s pouring water on me and giving me light touch.

When we were in our Hypnobirthing or Relax and Release classes, I liked the firm touch. But when you’re in the situation where your body is just so tense and you’re trying to relax, the soft touch for me really was something that really helped me get through the surges. And breathing obviously too was super helpful. And a low voice, so that helps. And in that hum of your low voice really just kinda also vibrates your body and allows it to relax. So that’s what I was doing in the tub. And I was in the tub maybe 30 to 45 minutes-ish. But I was already feeling that really low pressure. Yeah, and it was not good. Like I was like, I’m over this. Like this is gonna be done soon. I was still like, my partner’s like, this is gonna be done soon. She’s not going to stay. Or I didn’t know she was a girl.

But I was like the baby’s gonna come fast, because I could already feel that pressure. And so he called the nurse. And told the nurse, he’s like there’s a lot of, she’s having a lot of pressure. Like the feeling of poop and so she wanted to. She’s like, okay. Well, let’s get her out, I wanted to monitor the baby anyway. And so I got out, put the monitor on. Which I hate the monitors. Like they need to have someone new make those. So they’re like a sticker, just like the heart ones or something. Anyways, she ended up checking me at that point. And at this point, I knew I wanted to know the number. Before I said in my birth plan, I didn’t wanna know the number, but I was like there’s no way. I get checked and I’m seven centimeters dilated. This is crazy.

And it was only an hour that I’d been at the hospital at that point. So I was like, this is crazy. I was like, I knew she was coming fast is what I’m saying. I was like I knew. And I was like, I’m gonna transition. You know, I was thinking like, no wonder I’m getting all this pressure. So and my water was still intact at that point. So I was like, I just want this water to break. ‘Cause that means the baby will fall down and it will just like. These are all the things that are going through my mind. Baby will fall down and fall out. Yes, let’s have this happen.

So anyways, because I was at seven centimeters, the doctor was called and he came within half an hour, but they started prepping the room already. Like I was gonna have this baby. So I didn’t end up going back in the water. And I stayed on the bed. And I know sometimes like at that point, it was pretty comfortable for me to be in the bed, but I was willing to move if I needed to move. And I think that’s important. So doctor got there. He checked me at that, when he got there within 20 to 30 minutes, I was nine centimeters dilated So my body was really working hard. She was working hard to get out.

Once he gets there he checks me. Once he’s checking he’s telling me push, like he’s already telling you to push. I was like, okay. And these are pre-pushes, these weren’t like the real pushes to push the baby out. These were pushes to get her down and in birthing position. So I was pushing on the bed like you know. And then he told me, you know what, let’s use gravity to help get the baby down. He’s like do you think you could stand up? He asked me though. The way that he approached it was really like, do you think you could stand up and let gravity. I was like, yes, whatever we need to do, I’m down. You know and ’cause my motivation was just like, I need to do things to help my body get this baby out.

So I was like yeah, let’s stand up. Whatever we need to do. So I stand up and I push really hard. During my surges I’m pushing. I only needed to do that about a couple times, three or four times. He’s like, alright, I think that did it. So, I got up and I got back in the bed. And we were having a baby at that point. And so, yeah. My doctor’s great, I love my doctor. And he was telling me you know, coaching me through the delivery process and pushing. When the push looked right from his view, he told me to continue that. And this time she was really big. She was 10 pounds, 12 ounces. So she’s a big girl. And so I didn’t have the same pressure that I felt with my son, who was seven pounds, six ounces. So I just knew that there was a lot more pressure down there, and it was a little bit harder to push.

But I knew from reading the “Labor like a Goddess” book that my muscles. Yeah, it hurt. Yeah, it hurts, it hurts. But at the same time, it wasn’t pain because something was broken. It was pain because my muscles were working so hard. Like doing a million sit-ups for example. So that’s what was the pain I knew I was pushing through because of that book. It really helped me. That was something that really stood out to me, that it’s your muscles that are working super hard, just like exercising super hard. And so of course it’s gonna make you sore. And of course it’s gonna hurt a little bit, because when you’re working your muscles out it hurts. So having that in my mind and knowing that it wasn’t because I was breaking something, it was because I was working something out so hard. I had to push extra hard because she was a big girl. He would continue to coach me. She came out within maybe four or five pushes. But I think that it really helped with the way I was being directed and knowing.

And so at one point, maybe the first push that I really did, the first real push I did. I was like trying to push and I was like I can’t, because the pressure was so so much. And so I kind of stopped. I kind of clenched my body up. And my body’s like, no, no. And it just pushed her out, like without my approval. You know, it’s was like nope. No, we’re pushing her out body. Like it was telling me. I was like, okay. Well then I just gotta relax through it. You know, there’s this like moment of like inner struggle of that that’s something that book also talks about. It’s just knowing when to just kind of like let go and let it be. And we learned that at Hypnobirthing too, is that you don’t wanna be tight, you wanna be as loose as possible.

So knowing all these things, I knew that that was the wrong thing to do with my body. And so then I was like, okay, I’m just kinda gonna give up to that and know that. Yeah, she’s coming out and I can’t stop it. And to go with it and to try to relax as much as you can in that moment. So I think I had two more pushes after that first one that I kinda like was like I don’t know. Then on the third one, there like her heads right there.

Feel her head and I remember Care telling me in Hypnobirthing, Relax and Release classes, it’s really important to touch, it gives you motivation. And I was like, if I touch her head, or if I touch the baby’s head, I’m gonna have motivation to push her the rest of the way out, or push the baby the rest of the way out. And so I touched it. I was like, there’s hair there, this little ripply head. Like, okay, she’s right there. Like it’s within moments that this is gonna be done. And I was so happy that was like so. I went through all these emotions in that like very short period. I pushed on the next contraction, and her head came out. And then we were just waiting on her shoulder to come out, basically after that. I go through the next one and her shoulder comes out. Doctor says look down. And I looked down, I grab her, and I pull her up to my body.

And we didn’t know what she was. So that I’m feeling her body, her bottom area and I was like, there’s nothing, it’s just flat. Like I was like, it’s a girl. I’m yelling, I’m so excited. And, I kind of stole, because I wanted my partner to tell me it was a girl but kind of just took over the moment. I mean, I worked so hard to get her out I guess that was my reward, sorry. And so I was so happy. And I was like, I was so happy she was out of my body. The doctor also mentioned when she was coming out that this is a big baby. And he’s like, at least you know 10 pounds. And I was like, what? I had no clue. I mean, we were projected to be maybe nine pounds. I was like, in my head I had an eight pounds, 10 ouncer. That was what I thought we were gonna have. And then when he’s like, no, she’s like 10 pounds. I was like, no wonder I had so much pressure.

And I was like, my son just fell out compared to her. Like I really had to push her, he came out. So yeah, I mean I was really happy. It was so awesome to be done with that process. But I think I had all the tools needed to be able to go through it as I did.

We couldn’t have done it without all the support. And I’m just very thankful for everybody that was on our team, on our side, even in this crazy circumstance. I felt supported even though I knew that my support wasn’t like in the room with me. So, yeah, so I recommend having doulas, because they’re there with you all the way through. Even if they’re not there for your actual birth, they’re still there. And you know the things that they’ve been telling you, the motivation that they’ve been giving you, the confidence that they’ve been giving you. Because I was really worried about having a baby without my doula. And she told me, no you could do it. And I was super thankful for that.

Because I think I was going through all these emotions throughout the whole period of knowing that I wasn’t gonna be able to have the support that I was expecting to have. And for me to be able to know that she was there in spirit, and I had more than just her there. You know, like Care was there for me, my chiropractor helped me out throughout the quarantine time. My acupuncturist really helped my body prepare even before you know this whole time started. So I think that your support team. Obviously my family, all that helped too. Because it was a mental game that I was playing here during this time. ‘Cause it was trying so yeah. So that’s basically how she came to be here. And she was ready to come out really fast. So I ended up having her at 10:45 a.m. So my labor was really short, and because that’s what she wanted for me, for her, and knew what my body could take so yeah.

About the author:
Care is the founder of the Birth Education Center, San Diego HypnoBirthing and Cuddle Sanctuary San Diego. She is a Birth Educator, Hypnotherapist, Birth and Postpartum Doula, INNATE Care Provider, Erotic Blueprint Coach and also professional Cuddler. She specializes in connection work between people and increasing self boundaries for a more balanced life together.