Getting Over Your “What If’s”…

By: Care Messer Birth, Labor, Pregnancy September 27, 2018

What if?

I think I’ve pretty much heard all the negative “what if’s” when it comes to birth. As an educator – I hear how “I am going to fail at birth, or ”I am not planning anything because nothing ever works for me if I do that,” and “why would things go my way? – they never have,” etc. etc.

I had my own story of every worst case scenario on the planet happening to me – all at once, simultaneously – complete with the biggest earthquake California has ever had, add in a forest fire and/or everybody dying at the end type of scenario, whenever I thought about my birth. Those pictures got worse when I was faced with the challenge of having to do a natural birth due to me being allergic to all the pain medications. Birth just equaled tragedy in my mind.

All the negativity surrounding birth, all the strait up terror that our creative mammal minds can come up with and how we will fail in the worst possible way, holds us back from possibly the sweetest moments of our lives. I will ask you to take a journey with me in exploring the complete opposite of everything you’ve ever thought of when it comes to birth. I will ask you to write a story in your mind so simplistic and so gentle that if it actually happened, it would change your perception of the world forever.
What if everything went magically in your baby’s birth?

What if you begin to savor this pregnancy? Every twinge, every ache you feel – because it means that you are growing a healthy baby. What if you start educating yourself on the possibilities of a connected birth that forms a layer of trust between your body and your baby?

What if your baby begins to feel the nurturing effects of oxytocin and peace while swimming in your womb? What if your baby gets more nourishing foods from your mouth and more positive words from your heart while he or she is busy growing? What if you are able to connect earlier with your baby and communicate through thoughts, words and music?

What if you are able to block out all the negative birth stories and create a beautiful one to share? What if you find a supportive care provider and staff at your birth that wanted to make this day just as special as you had envisioned it to be? What if your partner and doula work in tandem, to ensure your comfort, safety and good outcome no matter how your plan varied in the moment?

What if the worries of birth turned into trust, heart-opening love and acceptance of yourself? What if you gained more autonomy and confidence in your choices as a woman and felt magical, empowered and strong? What if true bravery is felt by you for the first time? What if you enjoy your labor and have the perfect support to work through any rough spots along the road?

What if labor is simple, straightforward, smooth and a welcoming journey for your baby to enter this world? What if you are the one to pull your wet baby up onto your warm chest and those are the first moments of their life? What if the three of you are given uninterrupted moments to just be with each other for the first time?

What if the feelings of joy, relief and safety fill the room and trust and love were the first feelings your baby feels and experiences outside the safety of your womb?

What if this birth exceeds your expectations and gives you enjoyment in reaching the edges of yourself?

What if your labor and birth is such an intense positive experience, it blesses you in helping other women experience the same kind of pleasure and power? What if you find out that you can do hard things and that nothing will ever have limits to you after birthing the way that you just did?

What if you began to live your new life as if the “what if” was a “what is?”

You can do this mama – right here, right now.

Plan, prepare & create what if…


About the author:
Care is the founder of the Birth Education Center, San Diego HypnoBirthing and Cuddle Sanctuary San Diego. She is a Birth Educator, Hypnotherapist, Birth and Postpartum Doula, INNATE Care Provider, Erotic Blueprint Coach and also professional Cuddler. She specializes in connection work between people and increasing self boundaries for a more balanced life together.