How Do You Inspire?

By: Care Messer Doulas November 26, 2018


SUCCESS isn’t just about what you accomplish in your life, it’s about
what you INSPIRE others to do.   —
Unknown

There is no way I would be where I am in my business(and in my LIFE) if it weren’t for the generosity of many beautiful humans both in and out of my field of work. The majority of the help came from women – some struggling just as hard as me to make ends meet each month.

Women that gave quietly, without anyone knowing what they did. They gave of their resources, business ideas, and their examples of how to treat other women with no judgement. I watched and studied them. I took note of how they walked in the world. Inspiration was just the beginning of what they gave to me.

They loved me with a listening ear AND made me solve the problems myself. Strong women helped me break the codependency I thought I needed to survive in the world. They helped me break that cycle for my oldest daughter so she would be raised with acceptance, love and full understanding of who she already was in the world. We have an incredible relationship now because of what these women taught me.

I appreciate their example of what resilient, loving women can be for each other on this planet. As my own family withdrew their love and acceptance of who I was and how I showed up in the world, these women inspired me to keep going and to love myself. They made it possible for me to raise two daughters, one with severe special needs, without child support. These women are still my mentors – whether they know it or not.

It’s easy to get caught up in our own daily drama and life problems – BUT – someone needs you and you need them. It takes effort to step outside of yourself and look for those who need your help and love. We can build each other up, work together and change how women show up for each other. The only true competition between women is competition with ourselves. There is enough to go around and we all need each other. If the ugly is all you are seeing around you then look at yourself. Change a few things up that aren’t your proudest attributes and see what you attract then. WE are meant to love and give it away. We are not meant to be perfect but working towards being better and showing up in our own authentic way.

Inspiring others women and helping them succeed builds a community around US. A safe place to live, explore ourselves and discover our personal beauty as a woman.

We used to survive in tribes and villages in this way. We worked as a group and respected the unique gifts of the individual. Every women had her magic, which she freely gave away and mentored those younger than her to find and build their own. Sharing is what keeps the community growing once we have left this life. It is essential for the survival of the village or tribe. I feel we are hardwired to want this. We yearn for it and spend our lives searching for it. Then once we find it – we become a devotee of the power that’s nestled within. I can attest to this in my own personal experience of how it’s played out in my life. It’s like a feeling of “coming home” and I notice the difference immediately with someone when it’s not within them. I choose friends, business relationships and partners by this feeling. Settling for less than that is not ok anymore.

Notice the women around you. How do you know you know you admire them instead of envy them? Pay attention to where you feel the feelings about them are in your body.

Jealousy is unsettled, heavy and pushes you to compete and stay away from her with possible feelings of wanting to sabotage her efforts. As women, we have all had those moments – own it, be honest about those feelings to yourself and move on. You have the power to change that at any moment – it’s a choice.

Admiration is love, longing and feels warm inside. The desire to be around that person is deep and inspires you to dream and share. Love is sharing more love with that woman and it heals something inside you. Cultivate more of the admiration in your life and then you BECOME that for someone else. Love shifts us to higher levels of love and understanding – always.

How are you giving back? How are you giving a hand up? What are you doing on a daily, weekly, monthly basis to make the road easier for someone else?

About the author:
Care is the founder of the Birth Education Center, San Diego HypnoBirthing and Cuddle Sanctuary San Diego. She is a Birth Educator, Hypnotherapist, Birth and Postpartum Doula, INNATE Care Provider, Erotic Blueprint Coach and also professional Cuddler. She specializes in connection work between people and increasing self boundaries for a more balanced life together.