How To Prepare For A Natural Birth

By: Care Messer | Hypnobirthing | July 2, 2020

Hypnobirthing classes made the difference for this couples birth preparation. When Sami first found out she was pregnant, the words that ran though her mind were cesarean, morning sickness and pain. She’s also “throw-up-a-phobic” so that didn’t help her mindset either! Luckily, a few friends had recommended Hypnobirthing and that jump started their education. They hired a doula, switched providers and were able to deliver at a hospital with labor tubs. In their story you’re going to see how the mind works when you believe in the power of your body and the normal process of birth! Sami took labor in stride and just stayed focused on each moment. Having a great team by her side is what got her through.

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– It was like I was at a concert. I was in my own world and I was gonna rock concert. And I was just dancing and singing along. I had no idea what was going on in the room.

I was approaching 40. And a lot of people told me it’s not that easy to get pregnant. You’re gonna have to try a really long time. And you may go through many miscarriages, so don’t be so hopeful. So it was like, okay, probably won’t happen. Let’s just see. And it happened. We took a pregnancy test. He asked me to take a test. I said, Oh, no, Its just I’m just late took one and I was like, you really happened. And the first thing that went through my mind is I’m gonna do cesarean. Because I had never imagined going through pregnancy or through delivery, to me it was just like, not for me and oh my gosh, like that’s kind of a big deal.

And it was a territory I was never gonna pass for almost 25 years. I’ve had this mindset of, oh, that’ll never be me. And then it happened to me. I’m looking at this test. I’m thinking, all of a sudden I just thought pain, oh my gosh, and morning sickness like, I’m throat phobic like I was like, Oh my gosh, how am I going to deal with this? And we talked to friends. And through a couple, maybe three different people. I heard about Care Messer, and Hypnobirthing. And I was like, this sounds really appealing and interesting to me. It sounds like it’s putting a soft edge on pregnancy delivery, making it so much more of a positive experience. Not painful. I got drawn to it. So I signed up for Hypnobirthing. Vince was like, what? And was kinda hesitant at the first class coming into the first class but walking out of the first class, he was like, Oh, I get it. This is awesome stuff.

– I’m a software developer. I’m in the high tech world and I and my job is to optimize to minimize just take the shortest route home the most effective route home. So, when we talked about the notion of natural laboring and all that, the first question that came to mind was why. And then,

– yep we got our answer.

– Yep, he was like, why don’t you just take the path of the least resistance, just go the easy way. And I had plenty of friends tell me, “just get a cesarean, easy.” And so that’s why I thought originally but then Hypnobirthing just put such a positive spin on natural unmedicated delivery. And originally for me was just reversing that mindset that I had for all those years and making it a positive experience. So the affirmations that we listened to every night, that was very, very helpful to put me in the right mindset.

I listened to Rainbow Relaxation, I love the words on the room on the wall of the room and in the birthing class were really helpful. Namaste, surge and wave all these peaceful pretty words, calling a contraction a surge or a wave versus a contraction or not talking about pain, but just pressure and learning that you can actually breathe through this. And it’s a positive thing. I took it through delivery with me and I managed to deliver in a calm way. And it was just amazing. And I don’t believe I did it. Coming from the history background, that I had.

Monday morning around 3am, my water released. And shortly after, I can’t recall how long after but it felt like within the hour surgery started. It got to a point where I was like, oh, what do I do? And where’s Konnie? I need to have Konnie here because she needs to tell me what to do. And Vince suggested get under a shower, hot shower so we took the medicine bottle in the shower. Put a towel down inside of it. We have a sprain feature in our shower, and I just sat under there. With the hot water it felt so good. I took some surges, but much easier to take it in the hot water. He says I was in there for like 45 minutes?

– Yeah.

– Time went by really fast throughout this whole thing. So did some different movements outside of the shower. I don’t remember all of them. But I remember being on all fours that was always very comfortable even throughout pregnancy like is I used to do cat and cow move my hips around. And so got active. And I could ask him where’s Konnie because I knew it would be here. He was counting. He was using an app to count the minutes. And the surges keep track of them and not telling me I did not want to know. But apparently I was progressing like pretty quickly. It wasn’t that long before Konnie came and she worked with me a little bit at home. My surges got to a point pretty quickly where it was like okay, we can go in now Konnie gave me the option. Sure we can wait at home a little bit longer if you wanna or we can go in. I was ready to go. And so thankfully, the hospital is just six minutes away. And Konnie followed us. So we arrived at the hospital. And we park and I’m having surges throughout I think I had in that six minute drive I had three or four surges.

– In the car.

– Yeah. So they were they were coming there was no stopping it. And I had this eye mask on and my music on. So I was like, Okay, I don’t even know if anybody can see who can see me. He and Konnie. If they want they can be embarrassed but don’t care Each one of them was holding hands like this. And they were guiding because I couldn’t see walking into the hospital, I took a surge every minute.

– They were close. But again, they executed the game plan as we’ve talked about, Konnie, I’d be willing to help this. And again, we had talked about it. And once we got there it was just happening it was just one after another and parked the car at a fair distance. And we’re both holding her and as the time would come she would she would go through the surges completely and then we would take a few more steps

– I would kinda bite on his arm

– Five inch hit.

– I remember that he was so comforting his arm was just very comforting to me every time the surge was coming on and I remember back to registration and they were asking me some questions that I’m like, “I can’t talk right now.” I think I need to sit down and have another one. Anyway we ended up getting into the room pretty quickly and they did a test or check. I didn’t know, I didn’t want to know Konnie just double checked. She knew that I pretty much wanna be oblivious to everything. I wanna be in my own zone. And she just said just make sure if you wanna know and I said no, I don’t want to know.

Apparently it was one centimeter. But baby was at station zero so she was pretty close. So that was a good thing and my surges were so back to back that we think we did the right thing being in the hospital. I spent a good amount of time in the tub. I had called an advance and asked for the tub and the tub was just so comforting And apparently did much better made better progress in the tub than I did on the bed. So that’s where I spend a lot of my time between Vince and Konnie and Stacey ER nurse. I don’t know who was doing what, but somebody was constantly pouring warm water on my back, which felt so good. I know Konnie’s touch and she’s was giving me light touches which felt so good And somebody would keep putting a straw in my mouth so I could drink water, which was great. I barely had to ask for it. But if I wanted it, I would ask him immediately it was in my mouth. He took such good care of me. And Konnie also had peppermint oil she put it on a cotton ball and then kinda wiped it here so I could inhale it, that was really relaxing.

I felt like the room was dark, but my eyes recovered. So I don’t know. But I was very relaxed. And I was listening to music the entire time. And that music really helped me get through each surge. I was just listening to the words. Listening to the music, I was dancing in my own way. And I remember Konnie saying, don’t do so much of this no, I want you to say yes. And I remember telling Konnie that’s just kinda part of my dance. Like I was just like, rocking out and it really got me through each music for me personally. It really, really helped and I know it’s combination of everything.

I put it on Cyndi Lauper station. I wanted like happy music good vibes and like reminders maybe of like my younger years. So there was like Madonna material girl playing it was George Michael playing all kinds of good songs that I knew the lyrics to and could sing along. And anytime a slow song came on like maybe a Phil Collins song I remember hitting next. Because I needed loud, I needed upbeat I needed a beat to move too because I was just dancing. It was like I was at a concert. I was in my own world and I was looking at a rock concert and I was just dancing and singing along.

I had no idea what was going on in the room. I had no idea it was one centimeter dilated. I don’t know how many hours later we were at six or seven centimeters. We’re making really good progress. But again, I didn’t want to know all I did was go like this and say Konnie are we making progress and she and her nurse both were like, “yes!” and they were cheering me on and so I was like, I’m gonna go back to my concert. kept listening to my music every once in a while I would ask the question and get the quick answer. Okay music on 17 hours. I listen to music non stop my headset wireless headset was amazing. Barely went down on battery. We got to a point where I guess… I’m just gonna give you a very short version. We got to a point where it was time like they said if you want you can push now. It was maybe fifteen minutes I don’t know

– Quick. Yeah, it was very quick. Once we got to that point that the cop came in. And again, there was a lot of activity going on. I noticed but the focus was on mom. She had her 40 Blinks on her blindfolds and music. And then at some point we needed her. The doctor needed her to be engaged, so they kind of very kindly asked her to remove her blindfolds and then headset so she can hear she could communicate with that cop and… the rest.

– And I said, Well can you please play the music from my phone? Just have it come out of the phone? I still need the music that’s like I addicted to that music. That was my drug.

– Yeah, but it was it was perfect. The hospital staff was very respectful. Everybody kept quiet. We spoke in a very low level, a little, little noise. And once they did the subjects and made sure she was okay, the focus, everything shifted on her now. And that was the most amazing experience.

– Who’s crazy. I can’t believe I did it. I really can’t believe I delivered naturally, that I delivered without medication that I delivered relatively without pain it was pressure, it really was pressure not pain. Me being that person who never wanted to have kids who couldn’t have imagined going through pregnancy, and then delivery. It was just in disbelief. I still kind of am. And it’s good that I have my husband to remind me of what I went through. He had no idea what was going on in the room. If there was commotion, and I was oblivious to it everything was just, I was at a rock concert, in my own world, having a great time.

And I was being served for water, little bite of like chocolate or date, figs. Still a little bit at a time and I had the best team in the world. I couldn’t have asked for a better support team to get me through. When she came up, I was like, Who are you? Like? I don’t know. Its like I had run a triathlon, marathon, triathlon like being through a lot of physical work, and I was just so drained. And I don’t know it was like surreal when they put her on me, but I was like, This is my I was just, I don’t know, it was, it was just surreal and amazing and learn it’s over like that, that process of delivery, we can just bond now and it was so beautiful and I looked at my husband. And I was like now it’s the three of us it was very beautiful, very, very beautiful.

And I remember telling the nurse, don’t wipe off her Vernix. She’s was like I’m not, I have to get her to cry. So she was kind of rubbing her back or tapping her back, I was like when do we get that golden hour I just wanted to bond and it came before we knew it just like a few minutes and that was just golden it really was and very calm and quiet and peaceful.

So I would say definitely take a Hypnobirthing class, there’s so much to learn, that you didn’t even know was out there. And it sets you up for success. It’s incredible, just how positive it can make delivery. And you can still choose whatever path you want. But at least you have this mindset of being very positive. And knowing you can get through anything, and that you’re so strong, and that there’s techniques. There’s so many techniques to get through it.

It actually, I don’t know how to say it, but it wasn’t like the most difficult thing ever. Getting through each surge, I was present for every single surge. And I was breathing through it and saying, my cervix is open, I’m letting the baby up. So learning how it all works and flows and putting you in that mindset like this is a positive thing. We want the baby to come out and that’s you’re gonna see her sooner if you relax, open up, it’s gonna be a faster process versus tensing up and being nervous and scared. So, Hypnobirthing class, secondly, I would say definitely hire a doula. I did not realize beforehand how much they can really help. It’s not just help. I mean, orchestrate. I can say Konnie orchestrated the whole thing for us. At least that’s how I felt. I was just looking to her. She was my coach. She was my guide. She was my pumping up she like everything. I trusted her and she positioned me for the perfect, most beautiful delivery I could have possibly imagined.

And thirdly, surround yourself with positive thoughts. Listen to the affirmations. Do Rainbow Relaxation. Enjoy every step of your pregnancy and think good thoughts about delivery. And if you have anybody negative in your life, remove yourself from them. At least temporarily you just wanna flood yourself with good thoughts and good messages. And if anybody says, “just get a cesarean, “it’ll be so much easier, “just get an epidural.” Remove yourself from those conversations. I just learned to smile and walk away. You don’t need to try to prove yourself to anybody but just stay focused on the positive aspect of everything you’ve learned in Hypnobirthing, and you can do this. You’ve got this. You’re capable of so much. And I know people said that to me before and it’s true. It really is. I can’t believe I did it. But its definitely possible.

About the author:
Care is the founder of the Birth Education Center, San Diego HypnoBirthing and Cuddle Sanctuary San Diego. She is a Birth Educator, Hypnotherapist, Birth and Postpartum Doula, INNATE Care Provider, Erotic Blueprint Coach and also professional Cuddler. She specializes in connection work between people and increasing self boundaries for a more balanced life together.


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